Ask Dr. Jai

Nov 5, 2020Ask Dr. Jai

Dr. Jai: Hi, I am writing to you perplexed as to what to do. I am 28 and engaged to be married to the man of my dreams. He has a good job and works hard but isn’t educated like me. Because of this, my family has a problem with him. They do not feel he is good enough for me, and only for that reason. I am in love with him and know that he will be a good father and husband. We just announced our engagement to my family, and all their mouths dropped. What should I do? I am so scared that our family bond will be broken if I make this man mine.  

Dear Miss Engaged:  Thank you for sharing your question. Saying yes to someone not approved by your family is hard. We all want to please our family, but we also want to please the heart. Not knowing the extent of your family dynamics makes it hard for me to be definitive in my response. I feel that Love is as important as stability. You have to ask yourself this. Is this person worth the wrath of your family? So here is some of jay’s real-deal advice. If it were me, I would have to go with the heart and prepare for what comes with that. I would try and talk to my family and even discuss having them give him a chance, maybe a chat with everyone together, putting all the cards on the table. Being educated is a beautiful thing, and although I am all about education, it doesn’t determine whether you will have a quality job, but it does make you more marketable if you lose one. I am more concerned with how you are treated and what the future holds for you.  As a parent, I believe when it comes down to it, we want the best for you, and they want you happy. So follow your heart, girl. Do you know what’s best? Deep down, you already made the decision saying I will marry you. I am so happy for you. Congratulations on this significant transition in your life. I wish you Love, happiness, and an exceptional experience.